Wednesday, June 1, 2011

and then

"Shit..shit..shit.." Lauren couldn't break away from the word, until an impulse told her FUCK was a much better word. So she used that one instead, for every little pain that started to stir as the medics came to take her away.

Of course, Gaz was there every step taken. Holding her hand as if he had nothing better to do.

"What if its..the end?" She sputtered. It was an awful rocky start. She just couldn't think. She felt as if she might be melting. Yet, a pain would strike and stay with her for an awful long time. And another would begin when the other ended. It was misery. And she had Gaz to keep her company. "I want drugs. An a lot of them!" She ordered to any one who would listen to her fretful self. But a moan came then a whimper. Soon enough she was on a stretcher rolled down the white corridors. And a blaze of light practically burned her eyes out, with the people in blue all around.

"What the fuck?" She squinted hard.

"There, there, sweets, you'll be OK. Just a matter of time?" Was that Josh's voice she heard behind the paper mask?

"Fuck you!" She pushed him away. She felt as if he were a scavenger of some kind, sweeping in to what ever pooped out of her.

"Now, Now, Lorrie, be nice." She had Dave on the other side giving her a pat.

"Who fuck'n sent you!" She tried to jerk up, but she couldn't. She had to lay back and take it. Nurses coming over her to needle her with this and that. Jelly on her belly, more attachments came to monitor the situation. "This..this is just a fucking nightmare." It felt to her, they were going to do this, with or without her. "I hate you all..I hate you..I hate you, you know, both of you." She was practically spitting now. Josh rolled his eyes at that. He looked at Dave.

"I want Gaz. I want him..NOW! For fuck's sake, can't I have a little peace. With me and my man. Not you, pricks!" She gritted hard. Something was changing inside. Wanting to know the outside world. And she had to let it happen. Time was wasting. And then someone said she could push. She tried. She did. But it was so useless.

"I want to go to sleep now." She closed her eyes.

"NO!" The boys told her.

Then she heard Gaz, telling them to back off. How they had no reason to be here. "Let us be in peace!" She could hear Gaz, but she couldn't see him. That was all she wanted. To see Gaz. She needed to see him.

"Gaz! I want me, Gaz! Gaz! GAZ!" And that's when she heard the baby cry. She felt as if they were pulling the world out of her bum. It felt like a never ending rope caught up in her. And then she saw Gaz was holding the thing that was keeping her from him. A bloody baby, just about the color of herself. Her cry was so delicate, yet hearty. What the fuck, would they ever name it, she thought? Really, it had to be something special. It did. But what?

She could hardly wait to hold her baby daughter,

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

about now

"You wouldn't, would you?" Gaz was shocked to think Lauren would give up the baby so easy.

"I could." She uttered the words, as she would not look at him.

"I don't give a damn, who's it is." Gaz winced hard. Thank God, the cameras weren't on. They had a bit of peace in the bathroom, before bed, even if they were just brushing their teeth.

"You really love it?" Lauren glared at him as if she didn't completely believe him.

"Fuck's sake, of course. Its yours. And you're the best thing that ever happened to me." He fretted slightly as he rinsed his brush out and put it in its place.

"I guess." She nursed her bottom lip. "Remember how we were going to start a life of our own?"

"Well, aren't we?" He winced. "Thats what this is."

"Is it?" She told him it didn't feel like it. They were in a reality world, but still it was so artificial.

"You know, we won't be here forever. Once, you have the kiddie, we'll be off the show." He reminded her.

"Yeah, just updates and reunion shows after that." She sighed.

"I want to be with you." Gaz promise, putting his arm around her. Just then, he knew something was about to happen. A flood of water came from her body. They stood in a huge puddle. Gaz's eyes sprang opened wide. It was time.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

a peace offering

Josh didn't mean to surprise Lauren, so suddenly. After all, he'd brought her a small bouquet of suckers. He watched her unwrap the round  red egg shape sucker and put it her mouth. Evidently, she was determined to give him the silent treatment.

"You know, I care about you, luv." Josh was doing his damnedest to be sweet at the moment. At least the camera weren't on them. They were safe in a green room, somewhere for a private conversation.

"I've been trying really hard to keep away from the booze these days, you know. Just so I can help you. I really want to." He felt weak still, but he was tough, even if he were a lanky brute. His thin hair around his face hid his eyes. Maybe she needed to see him up close and personal. Really, if she'd just look at him, she'd know he was doing this for her and the baby.

"Bloody, unlikely, you still smell of weed, and ya gone gay on me as well, J?" She finally took a moment from nursing that sucker to give him a word. Wasn't exactly what he was hoping for.

"Look, babe-"

"Don't ever call babe." She gave him a dead stare.

"Dave is with me on this, OK. We can take care of the little tike. That way, you wouldn't have to give the little bastard up, to anyone. We could share him. You know?" Josh begged. Practically, on one knew. "I don't want to give him up."

"How do you even know its a him, aye?" She pressed as she went back to pushing her mouth over the red sucker.

It almost took Josh's breath away. Of course, he wasn't necessarily thinking of candy. Some one was a lucky boy, but it wasn't him at the moment. Damn, if he could just kept his winkie in pants back then, none of this shit might not be discussed. Josh sighed then.

"Please, will you just think about it, Laurie? I need this. I do." Josh felt helpless then.

"You never did fuck a lass, properly, did you? I guess its too late, now." Lauren shrugged. She went back to the sucker.

"Please." Josh winced hard.

"I'll think on it." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. Finally, she let him touch her belly. It wiggled immediately. Josh smiled instantly. The little bugger had to know he was it's dad.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

completely so

"Don't go off on me, like that?" Nev squinted hard. Just what he needed, come home from work and have Rae spaz on him. He thought she might be meaning to beat him up. But he caught her grasp before she could give him a black eye. "Its not good for the baby, you know."

He was right. She just needed to keep calm.

"Don't you think I know you've been through enough as it is?" He pressed his lips tight, thinking she might be a crack house squatting by now if it weren't for him.

She could hardly speak. He took her in his arms, and they sat down in the posh yet plush green couch in the corner. It felt a little like being in a field of clover, except there were no bees.

"I love you. Simple as that. You can't, not know it." He pushed her dark blonde hair from her face. He kissed away the tears. She was finally settling down. Still, he was unsure what she'd do once the baby was born. Would they go their separate ways? Did she still want to give up the baby? She'd spoke of going to beauty school once, but that was in the beginning. They'd been here months. An awful long time, still, she didn't have much of a baby bump.

Rae seemed to be the easiest of the bunch, to be much more compatible. Nothing bothered her to eat while he was certain it was quite rough on Anita. She was always sick with a cold. He thought she just cried a lot in the beginning, but no, it was probably the baby. Maybe she was kind of allergic to it.

Nev knew he was an outsider. Still he felt it was more of a mystery here, than anyone really knew. Gaz doubted that baby of Lauren's was even his. He was used to it now. Newt, he was a flight bloke. One moment he was a genuine happy camper, and the next Mr. Sensitive. Nev didn't think Newt was anymore well than he had been. He was rather good at acting.

Nev looked into Rae's eyes. It came to him then. What if that wasn't Newt's baby? What if she wasn't even pregnant when she thought she was? What if that baby was his? It didn't really matter. The fact remained, did he want this badly enough to help the both of them.

Sometimes, he wanted this so badly to be a father, yet it would be for a life-time.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

unexpectedly so

Rae wasn't like the others. It was a fact she was happy to see what became of her breasst. She felt more sexy than ever, being pregnant.

"But once the baby is born, then what?" Nev seemed to be underminding. Here she was going on and on every moment she could how he gushed over her when in reality it was her gushing over him.

"What do you mean?" She knew how these scenarios worked. It was a script or anything but who ever in charge was working damn hard to split them all up. No one wanted to see happiness, evidently. And they had that didn't they?

He let it go. He had a job. She had her fingernails to paint sea-green. Yes, it was all so sweet. Perhaps, not what she was used to. But she had a home. She hadn't had one of those for an awful long time.

"Well, the others seem to have a history." She heard Nev on the tele, later, with one of the reporters. Rae was a bit peeved they'd interview him like that, without her. But as it was, he was on the job at some bistro where he cleaned tables. "But..." Thank God there was a but, thought Rae as she could only hear the clank of dishes prevail.

"But we seemed to have found each other at the perfect time." Nev looked straight into the camera. "She was down on her luck. I had just gotten out of stupid relationship with this bloke who wanted to run every aspect of my life. I finally felt free. But then I saw how Rae was broken in pieces, practically. Its been a new adventure for the both of us."

Rae just stared at the screen. GAY. What? She had no idea. It couldn't be. Nev. Really? Well, she thought she must might shit. What happened to her little perfect world?